Here’s how the Busbys really manage to take care of all their daughters

OutDaughtered is not your typical reality show as it follows the Busbys: the first family in America to welcome all-female quintuplets. Prior to the birth of their five daughters, parents Adam and Danielle had their first daughter, Blayke. Thus, six girls officially makes the Busbys outdaughtered, as the show would imply. Although the show may follow them in their daily lives, not everything is as peachy as it seems on TV.

Yes, even though the series on TLC is all about how the Busby family is in over their heads with their daughters, there’s a lot that the show doesn’t explain. Like, how do the Busbys really manage to take care of their brood of daughters? Surely they have to have some extra help, right? Even though the cameras may not always or even often show it, the Busbys are actually brilliant at figuring out how to keep all six of their daughters in check, making OutDaughtered oddly one of the most realistic reality shows out there. Here’s a deep dive into how the Busbys really manage to take care of all their little ones.

The Busbys put their marriage first

With six kids, it’s kind of amazing that Adam and Danielle Busby ever manage to get any alone time. However, the two actually prioritize each other and their marriage over their kids. Though they’ve gotten quite a bit of backlash for all their date nights, the Busbys don’t have any regrets for doing so. In fact, they believe that by prioritizing the health of their marriage, they are doing a world of good for their daughters.

In a blog post on the family’s It’s A Buzz World site, Danielle made it clear that they don’t particularly care if people criticize them for their date nights. “We whole-heartedly feel like by taking care of our marriage first, we are doing what is best for our kids,” she explained. “One of the essential things that children need is a loving and secure home and to us that need can be met only by making sure the relationship between Adam and I is strong.”

Blayke Busby is like a "second momma"

Adam and Danielle Busby have their hands full with their six children. But, because one of those kids is older, they have a built-in helper of sorts — or “second mama,” as Danielle likes to call her oldest Blayke.

In fact, in an interview with Us Weekly, Danielle gave the okay to the interviewer to likewise dub Blayke as the “second momma” the quints. Additionally, as Danielle described to People, there’s really no way she and Adam could have done it without their oldest daughter. “I mean, I don’t think we could have asked for anything better as far as the adjustment went,” the mom of six explained. “From the day that she found out that she was going to have five sisters she played with five baby dolls at a time. She has been so hands on. She’ll say: ‘Oh, let me get you the wipes.’ She’s so smart.”

Obviously, Adam and Danielle do plenty of the caring for their quintuplets, but it doesn’t hurt to have such a doting older sister like Blayke, that’s for sure.

Danielle Busby makes sure each quint gets one-on-one time

Because Adam and Danielle Busby are the parents of quintuplets, it can be a struggle to make sure they are keeping an eye on all their daughters. Especially when the quints were babies or learning how to walk, it must have been difficult to even physically watch all of them. Still, the Busbys go one further and carve out time for each of their many daughters on an individual basis. 

“It will always be a challenge to balance six kids and make sure they each get one-on-one time,” Danielle told Country Living. “The most difficult part of having a large family is just the logistics of doing anything and everything. It takes some thought to do everything from cooking dinner to getting out of the house.” Though it isn’t easy, by spending quality alone time with each quint the Busbys show their daughters how loved they are.

Just because the Busby quints are quints, that doesn’t mean they aren’t individuals — and that’s what Adam and Danielle show them by striving to give each child one-on-one time with mom and dad.

It doesn't hurt that all the Busby kids are in school

After Adam and Danielle Busby learned they were expecting five children, they obviously had to reevaluate a lot about their life. With six total daughters, Danielle needed to spend a lot of time at home with them. Back when the quints were babies and Blayke was younger, it must have been a real undertaking to take care of them all at once.

Fortunately for the Busbys, the quints all started school in 2019. Hazel Grace, Ava Lane, Parker Kate, and Olivia Marie began attending preschool while Riley Paige placed above her sisters and started kindergarten, as People reported. Because all of her kids attend school in some capacity, the Busby home is much quieter through the week. While they’re learning to read and write, Danielle has more time to clean, run errands, and hopefully just relax, which is so important to, you know, staying sane when you have kids.

There are times the Busbys just have to laugh it off

There is no one right way to parent and no one parent is perfect. But, when you have quintuplets, just the thought of getting everything right every time sounds pretty hilarious. And for Adam and Danielle Busby, being able to take things in stride is one of the ways they manage to take care of all their daughters.

In an interview with People, Danielle explained that when things get overwhelming for them, the only thing they could really do was to giggle and move on. “You can only do as much as you can at that moment in time,” she said. “Just being able to laugh about a situation, like when all five babies are screaming, is one of the things we’ve learned how to do.” Of course, Adam and Danielle do the best they can, but you can’t exactly control when babies begin to fuss or when toddlers decide to have a full-out temper tantrum. But if you can just let go and laugh like the Busbys, know you’re doing a great job.

The Busbys have great friends and family that help out

Having quintuplets is a rare and life-changing event, to say the least. It’s only natural then that Adam and Danielle Busby would require some help adjusting to their new life with six daughters. Fortunately, they’ve had some great helpers over the years to assist in taking care of their daughters.

As Danielle wrote in the family’s It’s A Buzz World blog, the Busbys were able to attend a Mardi Gras parade thanks to their friends. “This year, the girls are full-on walkers and there was no way that we could have been able to leave them cooped up in the strollers through the two parades,” she explained in the 2017 post. “Luckily, we had a great group of friends that joined us for the day and helped us keep a nice little barrier around this crazy group of toddlers.”

Earlier in a 2016 interview with Channel Guide Magazine, Danielle revealed that her sisters and mother would be featured on OutDaughtered quite a bit as they were around to help with the young quints a lot.

The Busbys listen to what each daughter needs from them

In big families, it can be easy for one child to get lost in the shuffle. This is especially true when you have five daughters — all the same age and all who need something different from their parents. While you probably would cut the Busbys some slack if they lumped some of the kids’ needs in together, Adam and Danielle don’t allow themselves to do that.

In an interview with People, Danielle expressed how seriously she and Adam take it to make sure each quint is getting what she individually needs. “As the quints get older, they’re becoming individuals with their own struggles, likes, dislikes and opinions,” she said. Danielle added that the decision to move Riley Paige up to kindergarten ahead of her sisters wasn’t easy, but they took each daughter into consideration before pulling the trigger. “Knowing where she’s at right now, this was our decision based on her,” Danielle continued. “Of course we looked at the family and how this change affects everyone else.” Even though something may just be about one quint — like Riley Paige moving up in school — the Busbys take all kiddos into account.

The Busbys use babysitters

For the Busbys, you might say a babysitter is essentially a necessity. With six daughters, five of whom are the same age, getting away from the house for some kid-free time is important for their sanity. However, that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

In a blog post for the family’s It’s A Buzz World blog, Danielle Busby explained that she and Adam are dedicated to putting their marriage first and the only way they can do that is by leaving the kids at home with a babysitter and getting some much-needed alone time. In fact, Danielle suggested other parents do the same. “… If you don’t spend the time with your spouse, then you’ll just fill it with something less important,” she wrote. “My advice is to set a regular date night and get your babysitter scheduled ahead of time.” Having a babysitter on hand is certainly smart — and who would know better than the Busbys on how to make it work?

The Busbys lean on their faith

Adam and Danielle Busby lean on their faith a lot, especially where their daughters are concerned. As Danielle wrote for her It’s A Buzz World blog, their belief system is also a guiding system for their parenting. “I am still in shock every day that I actually have six kids (lol) and in awe that God chose me as the mother to these amazing little miracle girls,” Danielle revealed. She continued, explaining, “Though we as humans get to make our own decision and say yes and no when we choose … but as Adam and I are Christians we look to the Lord for guidance in our decisions.”

When it comes to raising their six daughters, there are a lot of choices the Busbys have already had to make or will have to make in the future. Whatever they come up against, though, the couple plans to follow their faith.

Danielle Busby chooses to "give grace" to her kids

As many parents can attest, it’s hard to know when to discipline your children and when to give them patience and understanding to figure things out. Add in some quintuplets and a half-dozen different personalities to the mix and you’ve got the craziness that is the Busbys. Yet Danielle Busby has learned an important lesson as it relates to managing the care of all her daughters: give them grace.

In an April 2020 post for her It’s A Buzz World blog, Danielle wrote about how hectic things had been for her lately and how she’s had to come to that conclusion for herself. “There are days that I want to pull my hair out … there are days I feel like my girls are obedient … and then there are days I get the ‘mom guilt’ because all I did was yell because no one cared to follow or listen to my parenting advice or guidance,” she explained. However, she came to the conclusion that she needed to “give grace” to her children and husband. No child or spouse is perfect, so why not dole out grace all around? 

The Busbys don't play favorites

If you have more than one child, it can be hard not to make it look like you play favorites. Even though you love your kids the same, there are days when one particular child is extra clingy or needy, requiring more attention. When you’re a family like the Busbys, who constantly have people watching their every move — either on television or social media — that task becomes nearly Herculean.

After Danielle Busby received some harsh criticism for posting more photos of certain kids, she told In Touch that that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her kids the same. “I feel like people choose to ‘see’ what they want and they base their response off of what they are dealing with in their own life,” she said. “I 100 percent know my heart and my love for all my kids are equal. I may not get around to posting ‘enough’ of something … but since when is love based off of how much we post on social media?”

The Busbys aren't afraid of time-outs

Without some form of discipline, one child would be difficult to manage, let alone six. Although parents differ in how exactly to discipline little ones, the Busbys have found one method to be effective for their children.

As an episode of Outdaughtered (via People) showed, Danielle Busby has had to learn that sometimes her daughters do things just to test her limits. “Riley is notorious for spilling her milk on purpose — she does it all the time,” Danielle said. “The girls are at that age where they’re really testing boundaries, so we’ve started doing time-out for when they’re bad.” It’s not fun to punish your kids, but the Busbys recognize that discipline is an important part of parenting and feel that putting their daughters in occasional time-outs helps them manage all their kids while also teaching them the importance of listening to their parents.

The Busbys stick to a plan

Every parent differs in how they organize their kids’ schedules and there are a million different philosophies out there about what is “best” for your kids. But for Adam and Danielle Busby, having a strict schedule is key for taking care of all their daughters. This was especially true when it came time to bring the quints home from the hospital.

In an interview with People, Danielle explained that she and Adam relied on a system to get through their days with newborns. “Everything has to be planned out — even something as simple as going for a walk, taking a bath, changing diapers,” she said.

Additionally, as Danielle wrote for her It’s A Buzz World blog, she had a schedule for feeding as well. “When the Busby Quintuplets came home after being in the NICU for 12 weeks, we HAD TO BE organized when it came to feeding them around the clock,” she wrote. A rigid schedule might not work for everyone, but it definitely helps the Busbys.

There were times when the Busbys didn't sleep at all

Danielle and Adam Busby may seem like supermom and superdad to all their fans and viewers of OutDaughtered, but life with six daughters has presented more than its fair share of challenges. Though the Busbys handle all their daughters really well, there were still times when they felt completely in over their heads and barely got any sleep.

“I remember so many times where I would be laying in bed feeding a baby in the middle of the night and I would be woken up by the sound of a bottle hitting the floor because I just completely fell asleep and dropped the baby’s bottle,” Adam Busby told People. “You’re just running on empty, on no sleep, all the time.” As crazy as it sounds, though, the Busbys were able to get through it together and perhaps running on no sleep actually helped them manage their daughters better because they became even more of a team. Whatever the case — rested or exhausted — the Busby’s take care of their daughters wonderfully.

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