EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Scotland's Stone of Scone last time in the south?

EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Why Scotland’s Stone of Scone could be making its last journey south for the King’s Coronation

Incoming Scots First Minister Humza Yousaf will ignore predecessor Alex Salmond’s exhortation to prevent the Stone of Scone from leaving Edinburgh for the Coronation. While Salmond said no Scottish government should just meekly give back ‘the property stolen 700 years ago’ it is likely to be its last journey south. The Coronation Chair is in a poor state of repair and holding the Stone, weighing almost 24 stone, will be its biggest trial. The King weighs about half that. Leaving the Stone in Scotland, and giving it a central role during the monarch’s traditional post-coronation visit, would make it less of a bone of contention. And keep the Coronation Chair useable for a few more crownings yet.

The Stone of Scone, also known as the Scottish Stone of Destiny

Newly elected leader of the Scottish National Party Humza Yousaf attends the Scottish Parliament

One coronation tradition seems to have bitten the dust. In 1953, 82 licences to roast an ox in the street were approved by the Ministry of Food. The main stipulation was that an ox had been roasted there at previous coronations. Would royalists roasting cattle on London’s suburban street spits fall foul of London Mayor Sadiq Khan’s 2,500 Ulez spy cameras?

Where has it all gone wrong for Jack Whitehall and his dad Michael? The comedian, whose TV shows Backchat and Travels with My Father catapulted Michael, 82, to fame, declares he will no longer work with his curmudgeonly pater. ‘Me and dad are done now,’ he declares. ‘We have fallen out and he cut me loose.’ Jack has been the butt of regular barbs from his dad including a recent reference to the alleged smallness of his manhood. ‘He has written me out of his will,’ adds Jack. ‘He did that when I tricked him into doing naked yoga in Los Angeles.’

Jack also complains about never being mentioned as a classmate of Emma Watson, pictured, during their time at Oxford’s elite Dragon School. ‘Whenever they write about the school they mention Emma, Robert Pattinson and Tom Hiddleston,’ he wails. ‘I am the school’s dirty little secret.’ He adds: ‘There was a story about a teacher who had been arrested when they found indecent images on his laptop. The headline was: “Pervert teacher arrested at Jack Whitehall’s former school.” I was like, “Where’s Emma Watson now?”’

Emma Watson in New York last year 

Jennifer Saunders admits to a teenage passion for warbler David Cassidy, even putting up a jumbo poster on her bedroom wall. ‘Jackie magazine would do these posters where one week you’d get the middle of David Cassidy, then the next week his head, then his leg,’ she recalls. ‘You’d gradually build your David Cassidy from dismembered bits.’ Puts a new meaning on Cassidy’s song Breaking Up Is Hard to Do.

The Duchess of York, seeking spiritual solace from the Dalai Lama, asks him about guilt. ‘He said [guilt] was not in the Tibetan dictionary. He said it was a disease of nice people,’ spouts Fergie. ‘He said “Is that clear?”, and I said “Yes”, and he said “Ha, it’s never clear. It always rains in England”.’ Surely His Holiness is a shoo-in for any future edition of Tibet’s Got Talent?

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