My boyfriend calls me fat and says I’m rubbish in bed… so I cheated on him – The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend is draining the life out of me, saying I’m rubbish in bed and I don’t understand the first thing about men.
It drove me to have sex with his friend.
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I’ve been with my boyfriend for six months. I’m 24 and he’s 37.
He criticises my looks and everything else about me and it’s been like this right from the start.
He tells me I’m fat and has eroded my confidence so much I have issues with food.
He showed me videos of him having sex with his exes, so I could see how it ought to be done.
He said I didn’t try hard enough to please him in bed — this from a man who watches porn on his phone in the middle of sex.
I’ve never felt quite so low in all my life.
Then a friend of his returned home from living in Spain and wanted to catch up with his mates.
He’s 39 and invited them all to a pub in the centre of town. My boyfriend decided to take me along.
As soon as he’d had a few drinks he was so busy flirting with other women that he seemed to forget I was there.
By the end of the evening he’d vanished off into the night.
His friend told me he’d seen him go off with some girl on his arm. He could see I was very upset and was lovely to me.
I found myself relaxing as this man seemed like a genuine guy.
He gave me a kiss and invited me back to his flat.
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We chatted for hours then we had brilliant sex in his bed. He gave me his number and told me to call.
But the next day my boyfriend came home and expected us to go on as before, no questions asked.
It’s been two months since then. His friend is on my mind all the time and I can’t think of anything else.
I know what I did that night was unforgiveable but do you think I should break with my boyfriend?
Or is this a case of the grass looking greener?
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m not surprised if the grass does look greener on the other side.
I’m really worried you’ve stayed with a man who repeatedly treats you so very badly, undermining and insulting you – and cheating as well.
You are clearly unhappy with him but still accept his appalling behaviour. You don’t seem to feel you’re entitled to leave.
I’d like to know what your childhood was like and how you’ve been treated before.
It seems like you really don’t value yourself very highly or believe you deserve much better.
I’m glad his friend made you feel happy, at least for a while.
But remember, you don’t really know him that well.
You don’t need to feel guilt for what happened that night.
You do need to get away from the man you’re with now.
You need help to discover that you can be strong. See the Freedom Programme (freedomprogramme.co.uk). You can do it online.
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