My lazy partner has piled on the pounds and it's killed our sex life

DEAR DEIDRE:  IT feels like my partner has given up – on himself and on me. When we got together, he was fit and full of energy.

Now he has type-2 diabetes, has piled on weight and doesn’t look after himself.

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He works hard for us all – myself and our two little girls – but is either at work or thinking about work, though I’ve told him I need him more involved in our family life. Our sex life has died too.

I’m 38 and he’s 43. I think he’s selfish for not helping out with the house and kids. He tells me he loves me but nothing ever changes.

I feel like he’s set on self-destruct and I almost hate him these days.

He’s not the man I used to know and love.

DEIDRE SAYS: This is so sad for both of you but he sounds demoralised. Tell him you love him, that the diabetes might have come as a shock but life could be very different.

Urge him to see his GP and get guidance on diet and exercise – and your sex life. Effective help is available out there.

You can both find further advice and support from Diabetes UK (, 0345 123 2399).

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