My partner's mum hates me and says her son can do a lot better

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner’s mother hates me, so when we visit her in Scotland, my partner stays with his mum and I have to stay with a friend of his.

I’m fed up because I then don’t get to see the rest of my partner’s family, his sisters and brother, when they all get together. 

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I’m a woman of 53, my partner is 58 and his mother is 91.

His mother has never liked me.

It all came to a head when she asked me how much I contributed to our joint finances.

I didn’t think it was her business so I moved the conversation on, which got her back up.

I heard her saying to my partner that I wasn’t right for him, and that I never clean and I’m lazy.

She now refuses to see me, and I don’t want to speak to her in case a few home-truths come out of my mouth.

DEIDRE SAYS: Letting your partner’s mum get under your skin means you miss out on enjoyable family time.

She’s not going to change now but you can learn to let her nastiness slide by you.

Be civil, smile and ignore her bile.

Stay with the friend when you visit but make sure your partner invites you to family get-togethers or see them under your own steam.

See where you can take comfort from realising you’re not alone.

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