My wife says she's too old for sex and thinks I should expect a sexless future

DEAR DEIDRE: AS soon as my wife turned 50 she said she was too old for sex. That was last year and we haven’t been intimate since.

She thinks it’s normal at our age and that I should just accept a celibate future.

I’m 53 and still have a healthy libido. I’m not ready to give up on our sex life forever.

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But when I try to discuss it she says I’m the one with the problem. She thinks I’m obsessed with sex.

We’ve been married for 25 years and I always thought we’d grow old together but I’m now thinking about ending my marriage.

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She would be devastated if I left, but I’m so unhappy and beginning to resent her.

DEIDRE SAYS: You both need to communicate. She needs to realise you’re at breaking point, and you need to understand why she’s gone off sex.

Sex can become painful for menopausal women and some lose their libido.
Ask her to see her doctor.

Couples counselling could be useful. Contact Tavistock Relationships (, 020 7380 1960).

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