As Kim opens fire, why it's time Emmerdale stopped the Home Farm shootings

Have you noticed how Emmerdale plotlines involving Home Farm always involve gunfire? Come on, you must have. So many people have been left with a bullet wound at the village’s most prestigious property, it’s become like a Quentin Tarantino movie up there. You honestly take your life in your hands just ringing the doorbell.

At the moment, it’s a woozy and disoriented Kim Tate (Claire King) who’s about to be seen waving a firearm around, having got it into her poor poisoned mind that there’s an intruder on the grounds. And as a shot rings out at the climax to part one of Emmerdale’s Thursday-night double bill (the regular moment in the week when characters are perennially put in jeopardy, by the way), viewers are sure to be left thinking: who on earth gives gun licences to these people?

After all, there’s so much evidence to support the case that bullets and Home Farm are a terrible, catastrophic mix. Long-time viewers will no doubt recall the 2010 exit of then-owner Mark Wylde, who was blasted away by his wife Natasha. Fast forward a bit and you have Declan Macey killing Robbie Lawson with a flare gun and then pulling a pistol on his own sister, Megan.

The curse continued with Lachlan White putting a dent in his grandfather Lawrence, who himself levelled a rifle at his one-time boyfriend Ronnie Hale, who was also once threatened by a gun-toting Sam Dingle. Lawrence was also left staring down a barrel on another separate occasion when Chrissie’s trigger-happy Uncle Tim turned up and started making threats.

Then, in 2018, during the Joe Tate era, we saw Debbie Dingle getting caught in the crossfire during a confrontation instigated by Ross Barton, who always considered it to be a day wasted if he didn’t get to fight a fellow villager. And Ross isn’t the only one to have arrived at Home Farm armed and ready for action – as unlikely as it sounds, a tooled-up Diane Sugden once threatened a terrified Chrissie with a gun that Lawrence had recklessly but unsurprisingly left lying around.

All of which brings us to Home Farm’s most recent weapon-wielding visitor: Moira Dingle, who stormed the premises seeking double-barrelled retribution in January 2021 after firestarter Jamie Tate almost burned little Kyle to death in a blazing barn.

With so much mayhem at one location, there can only be a small number of people who are actually happy about this murderous state of affairs. Plasterers, who must constantly be being asked to patch up holes in the walls are probably coining it in. And companies selling life insurance to anyone who lives there are also likely to be doing well, as the monthly premiums must be massive.

Estate agents, though, surely dread having to list Home Farm on Rightmove, as its notoriety is guaranteed to attract ghouls who turn up for open days wanting to scrutinise the parquet flooring for bloodstains.

In my opinion, Home Farm needs to clean up its image, so that we all stop thinking of it as Yorkshire’s answer to the OK Corral. And to prevent future showdowns, a few safety measures ought to be put in place. A decent lock being put on any cabinet containing a firearm would be a good place to start (with the keys then thrown into the River Emm). If that doesn’t work, there needs to be an official amnesty with all guns and ammo taken down to the police station and dumped on PC Swirling’s desk.

But if all else fails, a games console must be sent up to Home Farm as quickly as possible. In order to satiate their evident bloodlust, the Tates should all try and get to grips with some shoot-‘em-ups. You heard it here first, people – Emmerdale’s big summer plotline will be a true first for soapland, as Kim, Jamie and Gabby all get horribly addicted to Call of Duty. Let those virtual bullets fly!

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