BBC EastEnders Natalie Cassidys enduring guilt over mums tragic death: She thought I didnt care

EastEnders actress Natalie Cassidy has opened up about the tragic loss of her beloved mum Evelyn, admitting she's always felt "very guilty".

Evelyn died in 2002 aged 63, when Natalie was just 19. "That was an age where you don’t want to be at home and you don’t want to be with your parents,” Natalie, 40, told OK! during our exclusive shoot and interview.

“I felt robbed of having the time where you come back in your 20s and you want to be with your mum.

“I’ve always felt very guilty that she left the world thinking that I didn’t care. I know she knew that I did, because she’d been a young girl herself and understood, but that was a hard thing to deal with. And that I still deal with to this day.”

Natalie explained that following her death, she grew even closer to her dad Charles.

She said: "The bond with my dad just thickened after. We’d go on holiday together. He played golf so he’d go and I’d caddy for him. Over the years he was there through everything – my problems and my joyous events. In a way I suppose I made up for what happened with Mum, and then went over the top with Dad.”

And losing her own mother at a young age has shaped her as the parent she is today.

Natalie, who is mum to daughters Eliza, 13, and Joanie, seven, said: “I hope I’m lucky enough to be healthy and be around for a long time. I want to do all of those lovely mum things with the girls as they get older, like afternoon teas and spa days.

“My favourite thing about being a mum is watching them having the same upbringing, but having totally different interests and personalities.”

In April 2021, Natalie sadly lost her dad. “He wasn’t a really healthy man towards the end of his life. He had a lot of different medical issues,” she explained.

“I just had this gut feeling that he didn’t have long at all. And within a week he passed.”

She keeps his ashes on her windowsill in her lounge, alongside a picture of him and her mum.

“I know it might be a bit morbid for some people but he sits on the windowsill and I like to have a chat with him," she explained.

She added: "It’s just weird him not being here. I miss him terribly."

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